Jeopardy: The Game of Answers & More Questions

Well, I got answers from the previous post. As expected, it was just... well... okay. The anticipation is off and I'm left to ponder. I hate pondering, I was never very good at that considering I'm borderline ADD.

First off, feedback from last Saturday was alright. 'House showed well', 'Had great potential for the couple'... BUT 'Too many rental and apt. buildings nearby'. We considered that a victory. We can't control our surroundings, but we can control the inside, and that they liked. Slight victory? Check. Do they even want to consider our house? Well, no. Defeat? Check, Check.

Then the showing yesterday couldn't have deflated me more. The people pulled up to the outside AND WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF THE CAR, sent the realtor to the door to say they weren't interested. Wouldn't have been as bad had I not just had a rough morning and only gotten 3 hours sleep and could see the people looking at me from the car. It was like sending a note to the cute boy only to have him rip up in front of you without looking at it. Hey bud, it could've been A MILLION DOLLAR CHECK! But you'll never know because you DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT! But realistically, he and I both knew it was just note that said, 'Will you go with me? Check yes or no.' And we were pretty much on the same page he was probably going to say no. No loss, no foul right?

The kicker was our ultrasound though, which details keep going through my mind. If you are dying to find out what the baby is, let me squelch that one for you now. We weren't going to tell. But it didn't matter because our little one was breech and had it's legs in such a knot the ultrasound tech really didn't bother. But, the thing was, that didn't even matter to her... other things did. Which now concerns us too much more than if we need to buy any boy clothes.

Ultrasounds for us have run the gamut. I won't go into detail, but we've been devastated at the loss of our last pregnancy so unexpected, frustrated but entertained at watching Isla turn somersaults while we were trying to figure out her sex, in awe the first time we saw Hazelle's profile. We also know how the tech's act. And ours was all business yesterday, barely saying a word.

Basically, we noticed she was getting extra pictures of the heart and brain. She told us what she was looking for, but never said what she feared. Legally she can't. The baby was moving, measuring dead on my due date, and looked really good to me. When I met with the doctor she said I needed a level 2 ultrasound in a few weeks. The baby had some fluid around it's heart and they want to see if it gets resolved on it's own. She said probably not a means to be concerned, but they need to follow up to make sure things develop normally or if this could turn into something more. What she didn't mention was there was also a dilation in the back of the baby's brain.

I didn't put two and two together until I got home and googled a search term in my order and remembered asking the tech what part of the brain she kept measuring. I sent an email to my sister, who is enjoying a much needed vacation in Hawaii and asked her what this meant. Her response was quick and not as non-chalant as I would have hoped. Her first question was "How did your doctor act about it?" Well, honestly I don't know. I put a call in this morning and am waiting on hearing back.* My guess is she knows I've been a bundle of nerves and didn't want to make it worse, we'll know more in a few weeks.
*I talked to the doctor and she said everything was in normal range, but since we were having a level 2 ultrasound anyway, she was going to get a second pair of eyes on it, just to be safe. We feel better.

Anyway, so yesterday resolved many questions, but raised many more. So I'm just going to sit back, keep my house clean and enjoy the little kicks the baby has finally gotten big enough to deliver. And say a prayer in between that the important things turn out alright. You are more than welcome to say one too :)

Roller Coasters

I used to like roller coasters, until one day. One day, I woke up and thought to myself, "Why all the drama? I like the ground, a flat even ground for which I know I will not fall farther than my height." And that was it. Not that I'm scared or despise them, I just prefer my feet... on the ground. I somewhat consider that the day I became a boring adult.

Hence this week. It's nothing really but I feel like I've been strapped to the front of a roller coaster again and I'm anticipating that ride. But the thing is, I'm not sure if I'm going to like it. My mind is going a million miles an hour thinking of all the possibilities, just to make sure I'm not blindsided by one that I hadn't considered. What if it has loops? What if it suddenly goes backwards? What if it stops in the middle and I can't get down?

Yes, I really did go there. But anyway, of course I'm not talking about a REAL roller coaster. We have our all-important ultrasound on Wednesday morning and are patiently waiting on feedback from our one and only house showing on Saturday. And we have another showing tomorrow morning. I'm incredibly nervous and anxious about both, any and all, to the point I'm almost in tears with anticipation. What if something is wrong with the baby? What if the people looked at our house and thought, "This place is a dump! They're asking WHAT for it?!? They're never going to sell..." What if we don't sell... ever? What if if I give birth to a two headed alien? I don't know. It's just all negative. Like that big black rain seen above any cartoon character's head. I have officially turned into Charlie Brown. Good grief.