Mommy's Law

What is it about Murphy's law, 'Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong'? When you are a mom, you discover this is the truth. Your whole life becomes some anecdote to pass along to those thinking of having children, to prepare those young folk who are newly pregnant or to share among your mommy friends. Below is an example of how Mommy's law has played out for me... just in the last week.... most of it being yesterday.

• Your 2-year old will accidentally pee on the bathroom rugs, the same rugs you just finished cleaning from her peeing on them two days ago.


• Your mother-in-law will prepare your children for the demise of a sick cat by telling them 'the kitty will get a shot to go to sleep... forever'. When in reality she should have checked with you first because the cat just has diabetes and you have to give him a SHOT of insulin twice a day for the rest of his life. Now they want to watch me 'put the kitty to sleep' every time I get out the insulin.


• Not diversifying the baby's veggie diet from squash, carrots and sweet potatoes will result in her turning orange. It isn't a myth. (Note to self: Next week include some green veggies, Fin looks like an oompa-loompa)


• After cleaning up squash from a messy baby's face you will be out in public and have a complete stranger say, "Ewww, looks like someone has a bad ear infection", only to realize that they were talking about the large amount of now-dried squash you missed splattered your baby's ear and neck. How could I have missed that?!


• The one time you are on schedule to get the kids to school on time AND get to yoga class before it starts, you start your period for the first time in 18 months.


• The first time you start your period in 18 months and the toilet mysteriously overflows.


• The first time you ever saw the toilet overflow, clean it up and think "Could've been worse", you go downstairs to discover the water actually leaked through the floor, ceiling and all over your kitchen counter and stack of important paperwork you had to go through.


• You are once again late (REALLY LATE) dropping off child to school and making it to yoga class.


• The one night you can go shopping by yourself and your husband lets your children watch an episode of 'Nature' on venomous creatures right before bed.


• The one night you REALLY want to get to bed early your children will keep coming downstairs because they are afraid snakes and other venomous creatures are in their bedroom.


• You can vacuum twice a day, every day and a new crawler will see the one piece of sock toe jam you missed and put it in her mouth before you can get it from her.


• It's gross enough to make your two year old child spit out what they are chewing on (assuming it's a piece of a puzzle), only for her to tell you it's a booger.


• When you are at the end of your rope, a child they will do something so genuinely sweet, like take your angry face in both hands, kiss both cheeks and say, "I love you Mama". And then reduce you to tears.

Time for me to take a deep breath, laugh it off and prepare for what the next week of Mommy's Law will bring. For now I need to go throw some pee-soaked rugs in the wash.