Perspective

Ever sail along in life so engrossed in what you are doing that you fail to see things in order of importance? Life has been hectic the last few months, to say the least, looking ahead to things to come this year. I had some time yesterday though to reflect on the day's events while riding along a desolate country road, staring out into flat solid snow covered fields with a fog so thick you couldn't tell where the ground ended and the sky began. We estimated the visibility to be about 1/8 mile. We drove a steady 35 miles an hour, following the line of cars in front of us with same 'FUNERAL' flag waiving from the driver's side window. Every car coming the opposite way pulled over in respect for the large caravan, something you don't typically see in the city. Somber, ethereal, somewhat like time was standing still for this grieving family.

The words the preacher had said during his sermon repeated in my mind as we drove. He said, "Three years ago, absolutely no one would have thought we would be gathered here today." He was referring to the celebration of life for a 43 year-old wife and mother of three kids (ages 8, 6 & 5) who bravely fought and finally succumbed to the horrid disease that is pancreatic cancer. Sadly the same rare cancer her widower's, my husband's first cousin, father had died of 6 years ago. Both families were so unfortunately familiar with how things could go, but hope still abounded through treatments & surgeries. Bright spots shone before the darkness reared it ugly head and the doctors sent her home after Thanksgiving to spend her remaining time with her family.

Just 2 years ago she had her life planned out. Watching her kids grow up, growing old with her husband. But one phone call from a surgeon with a diagnosis jolted those plans to a screeching halt. It reminded me of what I saw outside. Every other time I had been on that same stretch of road, I could see the path ahead me, clear and unimpeded. Numb to the fact of where I was, just focused on where I was going. Today though, the reality is that the path could only be seen where we were, very little ahead. What existed beyond that fog, although I knew once to be an engraved tangible landscape, is now hazy and unfamiliar.

Ironically his foggy haze put things in a clearer perspective for me. Patti had her road map, how her life was to unfold yet no one saw this end. This was a subtle reminder to, of course, know the road I'm on, but more importantly enjoy the scenery where I'm at. As we experienced through some one else's pain, you never know what lays beyond the fog.

And so ends my existential, Debbie-Downer thought of the day.

P.S. Hug your kids tonight :)