Feeling Human Again (kind of)

The other day I was walking in from the car with all the kids... and our crap. I was carrying my purse, the diaper bag, baby carrier (complete with baby) and a couple bags from store (I tend to fall in that category that I would rather load my arms up until the tendons are splitting than make a second trip.) While trying to juggle all of this and unlock the front door my one free finger, all I kept thinking was, "Why didn't anyone tell me that I would become nothing more than a glorified pack mule?"

Later I was nursing the baby, and if you've ever breast-fed a baby you know that although it is a beautiful thing and it's great for the baby and you and blah, blah, blah.... you still feel like a gigantic milking cow. Especially if you pump. I would secretly moo to myself when I used to pump at work. I would pretend to have an audience and would crack myself up in the bathroom. Hey, don't judge, it was REALLY, REALLY boring to sit in there in pump, plus bathrooms have killer acoustics for mooing.

The rest of the day I kept thinking then of other animals that mothers are like, for instance

• Momma Bear- I let my kids fight their own battles but sometimes when it's not fair, momma bear does get the claws out. That means you Mom. If the kids are running away screaming when you say "Let's whip your ducks" (grandma speak for 'comb your hair'), it's time to just let their hair be ratty. My nieces used to say, "Grandma, I don't want my ducks whipped." Thank God nobody has called the Humane Society.


• Horsie- Love my kids but can't wait until I can lay down on my stomach without someone jumping on my back and saying 'GIDDYUP HORSIE!'. I'll be lucky to make it the next 5 years with my spinal column intact.


• Roaring Lion (see also growling)- I'm not proud of this but have you ever picked up the same toys for the 15th time in one afternoon? And yet you still find that one little piece that can puncture the bottom of your foot. I can't tell if I sound more like an angry lion or King Kong. Either way it isn't becoming of a lady.

And Finally,

• Dog Tired- Speaking of, I just realized I'm tired and everyone else is in bed. Why am I still typing?
  

So I can say that now that the newborn vortex has spit us out and I'm back to feeling like a human again, it's somewhat of a bittersweet moment. I realize that to feel human is really just acting like a pack mule/milking cow/momma bear. You got to do what you can though to get through these rough early years. Long live mommy and her animal instincts.

Feel free to post your own :)